As is the way this time of year we have been fighting a particularly brutal stomach flu which turns into the hacking chest/sinus flu lasting two weeks. It has gone through tristan, parker, eliza, me, shane and now toby.
I went to bed at 7pm last night which, if you know me, is totally unusual. I was feeling crappy about feeling crappy.
At 10pm toby woke up crying that his tummy hurt. I brought him into my room whereupon he began an all night march which involved running to the bathroom every hour, crouching in front of the toilet for a few minutes, then returning to bed. Stomach still hurting. No relief.
Finally, at 7am just as i was standing naked about to get in the shower he came running in declaring "this is it mom!" and released the largest and most anticipated barf right into the toilet.
Then he marched downstairs, sat on the sofa and declared a sick day.
Poor boy.
The stomach flu is taking down my children like dominoes. Each falling about twelve hours apart.
I don't really mind. Other than the mountains of laundry and their sad little faces, it's nice to take a step back from the hustle and bustle of our lives.
I did, however, learn that there are some foods you should definitely not feed your children when barfiness is on the horizon, they are in no particular order:
- chili
- chocolate
- ceasar salad
- blue jello
- chocolate pudding
- any combination of, or at all costs, all of these at the same time.
Hello? Hello? I've been trapped inside my house for six days and i think i've lost my mind. Send help!
- Tristan – on the mend. antibioitics FINALLY working. fever down
- Toby – fever up to 104 yesterday. trip to emergency. mommy scared. strep throat. antibiotics. feeling better today.
- Eliza – woke up with croup on thursday night. very scary. call 911. feeling better today. on three kinds of steroids.
- Parker – trooper all week. started throwing up last night. up from midnight until 6am. sleep for 90 minutes and up for the day. grumpy as hell.
I had the strangest hot and heavy dream last night (i actually slept at some point. Not sure when.) about billie joe armstrong?! of green day. (Something about men in makeup.) We were in a mall shopping and i really wanted to, you know, fool around. In all my dreams i am my awkward, ugly, chubby fifteen year old self. He wasn't that in to me. Apparently though his girlfriend was hot lips houlihan.
Shane also declared our house alcohol free a week ago. I hate him a lot right now.
This morning i have done a bad, terrible, brain destroying thing.
I let parker and eliza watch 'teletubbies' and 'barney.'
After suffering through hours and hours of the chubby cartoons with tristan and toby i declared a moratorium: there will be no more overstuffed creepy dinosaur/alien shows in my house.
Sesame street is where it's at. I think the re-found popularity of all things sesame is a backlash by parents against the soul destroying toddler shows of the late 90's.
This morning, tired and needing a little break, i succumbed and my toddler and preschooler have been instantly initiated. They are begging for more. I told them barney, tinky winky, po, la la and dipsy were only on TV for one day. A special day. And they will never, ever visit again.
So far, so good. No nits here. I scritched and scratched all day. The minute shane walked in the door, before hello, came "do i have lice?"
and "How the hell do i know for all the gel and shit you have in your hair!"
Forget the kids. I am a wimpy wimp ass when it comes to all things buggy (with apologies to chair.)
The kids at the school (who had lice) are pretty much the most popular kids ever in my household. I love them so much and so do all my kids. Every single school day ends with at least one of my children wrestling or hugging one of them. I was pretty darn sure that today would end with nits nesting in our thick hair.
But, for once, luck is on my side AND i just happen to have loads of tea tree stuff. So we have all been bathed and sprayed and brushed with the tea tree oil.
Thanks everybody. Obviously we are not out of the woods, but having escaped round 1 lice 2006 is a celebration worthy of a beer. So, beer it is. Soon i will be instant garbly messaging.
All the bug thoughts got me thinking of two things today.
First, i have been so caught up in the lice i neglected to have a 1000th comment contest and the opportunity has come and gone. I think the online poker guy won anyway.
Second, how i hate bugs. I've learned to deal with them outside. I just walk away. Except when the ants invade the sandbox. I still haven't figured out how to get rid of them every spring. There are so darn many of them that even the chickens can't keep up. And! If i let the chickens eat the ants in the sandbox? Then i have a sandbox full of chicken poo. Double gross.
Last spring the ants invaded the inside of our house. When, after a few weeks, they persisted despite my best efforts i bought those ant traps. After placing them for a day or two i was horrified to realize that the poison is hidden in peanut butter! Thousands of little ants marching around my house, my house! with allergic eliza! with peanut butter poison all over them. Sucky.
Then in one of my worst waking nightmares a huge carpenter ant crawled over me in my sleep and as i sleepily grabbed it, IT, took a huge chunk out of my cheek. I woke shane up and showed him the dead ant clutched in my fist and the blood dripping down my cheek. Fucking mattresses on the floor. I was tormented a few more times last spring by spiders crawling over me in the night until i finally figured out to close my window. Fresh air be damned.
Really, i should have known that bugfest was upon us as i found two huge spiders in the bathroom, just last night, mere hours before the lice outbreak.
So really, i'm overwhelmed by all the love i felt today regarding my little toby and then the advice on lice! And i have retreated into feelings of unworthiness and insecurity and i am thinking of filing suit against shane for false advertising as he weighs AT LEAST seventy pounds more than when we married. Sorry if that is lost on all of you.
xxoo
jess