I wish i had more time to write.
I have booked 30 weddings for this summer. It’s this daunting 16 weeks that are on the horizon, but hurtling towards me at warp speed. Most of my work time is spent coordinating these weddings. Lovely brides, demanding brides. I can’t even keep straight who is who at this point. Each bride has pages and pages of notes in her file so that every detail is documented, planned and executed. I often go to work after 7pm to talk to one of them on the phone because that is the only time they are available. Wedding planning is an evening activity closely aligned with pinterst viewing. Oh pinterest, my hate is strong for you and your unrealistic expectations.
I’m trying desperately to get this marathon training and running the damn thing done before this wedding season swallows me whole. I’m not even sure how the training is going. I’m on my second flu since December and missing another week of running. There is no logic in my brain about this, just panic. Why? Because 26 miles is a long, long way. I am keeping the joy and jubilation i know i will feel at the finish line close to my heart, otherwise i might crack under the pressure. The training is really the hardest part. The constant planning and tracking, the loss of an entire day off to the preparation and execution of the weekly long run. Running for three hours followed immediately by the arrival home from school of four children is comparable to two long runs in a row.
I think i have finally found some lasting way to be graceful and find grace in the world. It took me a long time. I feel an almost constant sense of peace now. I understand how to love shane without ego now. I know how to make every minute i have left in this world meaningful. I know that my flaws and weaknesses are part of what make me human and vulnerable. I get it. Happiness is a gift as is sadness and sorrow. Balance.