I wish i had more time to write.
I have booked 30 weddings for this summer. It’s this daunting 16 weeks that are on the horizon, but hurtling towards me at warp speed. Most of my work time is spent coordinating these weddings. Lovely brides, demanding brides. I can’t even keep straight who is who at this point. Each bride has pages and pages of notes in her file so that every detail is documented, planned and executed. I often go to work after 7pm to talk to one of them on the phone because that is the only time they are available. Wedding planning is an evening activity closely aligned with pinterst viewing. Oh pinterest, my hate is strong for you and your unrealistic expectations.
I’m trying desperately to get this marathon training and running the damn thing done before this wedding season swallows me whole. I’m not even sure how the training is going. I’m on my second flu since December and missing another week of running. There is no logic in my brain about this, just panic. Why? Because 26 miles is a long, long way. I am keeping the joy and jubilation i know i will feel at the finish line close to my heart, otherwise i might crack under the pressure. The training is really the hardest part. The constant planning and tracking, the loss of an entire day off to the preparation and execution of the weekly long run. Running for three hours followed immediately by the arrival home from school of four children is comparable to two long runs in a row.
I think i have finally found some lasting way to be graceful and find grace in the world. It took me a long time. I feel an almost constant sense of peace now. I understand how to love shane without ego now. I know how to make every minute i have left in this world meaningful. I know that my flaws and weaknesses are part of what make me human and vulnerable. I get it. Happiness is a gift as is sadness and sorrow. Balance.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
What a lovely post, Jess! Balance is what we all seem to try for, but it’s a difficult thing to hold on to. I also have trouble getting in the training, and having to care for my kids after a long run, when many people are napping.
I am in the exact same spot with running as you are. Ive have 2 back injury’s and an achilles injury this fall which I needed extensive therapy for. It took all that I had to be patient enough to heal so that I could run at all. Ive been sick for 2 weeks with wicked cold/flu which turned into a sinus infection that has required antibiotics. I am missing the Hypothermic marathon that I ran last year in February due to this. I feel defeated as well with not enough time to spread myself between work, injury/sickness and family with not enough time to rest. I guess the long runs might have to wait or not be as frequent. I think its okay not to put so much expectation on ourselves sometimes, at least thats what I tell myself anyways….
I hope that my sob story makes you feel better Jess, LOL! You are still an inspiration when it comes to running…..
My husband of twenty yrs was cheating on me, he left me and the children to meet another lady, but this spell caster dr.marnish@yahoo.com restored my marriage and my husband changed his mind, my husband has left the other lady and he has returned home to be with me forever, he now loves me more than before
monalisa showel
Holland
I never thought about it but wedding planning would be a really tough job. Sort of like working in an ice cream shop. I used to love ice cream but after spending two years of dipping it in high school, I really grew indifferent to the situation. Good luck with the training. Marathon training is hard but every one I have ever run has made a difference in my life.
Hey, Jess,
You popped into my head today and I had to track you down and see how you are doing. Fabulously, I see. How wonderful. Cindy
I used to check in on you almost daily watching your troubles and struggles from afar, worrying about you, feeling helpless. How you have coped and changed. I am so proud of you. It is possible to come out at the other end. You don’t need to vent daily, you are busy with your husband, children and job and running.
Good luck to you, my dear, you are amazing and an inspiration!
your old (in every sense of the word) friend in Minnesota