Schools out for summer.
I think my kids are pretty lucky to live where we do. The small town holds the safety and magic that i enjoyed as a child. They can wander the village, they can run bathing suit clad, barefoot with a towel flying behind them to the lake. They can swing in for dinner and rush back out to ride bikes and get up to all the hijinks that kids do. It is a freedom they take for granted and don’t really understand the magic of.
Which is perfect.
Shane and i have been back together for a year now and i suppose it has been “official” since we combined two homes into one back in january. Those first six months were tough: up, down and all around. In the past six months we have come to a place that is mostly happy, healthy, loving and fun. I won’t say it’s been easy, but it has been right. In many ways being single parents and single people for three years changed who we are in a relationship, made us better at it.
I have also switched jobs and what i do to make my contribution to the household. I was unemployed for four days. I sent out three emails and got three job offers. That felt really, really good. I have ended up working at a Cider Apple Orchard where they make cider and brandy. There is a bistro, a brick oven bakery, a tasting bar and a deli. I am managing all of those. On the farm they grow 13 acres of cider apples and bring in the rest from outside and produce seven different ciders, two Oh De Vie’s and a Sparkling Vodka. The food that is produced in the Bistro is all local and organic where possible. It suits me very well. I love being on this beautiful farm serving food and drink that i really believe in.
I am working more days than nights and enjoying working more “normal” hours. More time with family and a better job.
Bring it on, Summer.
My baby girl turned ten years old last week.
It has been such a big year for her. She’s grown in leaps and bounds. The girl who was once my most deliciously chubby baby has stretched and stretched into a lanky, energetic, confidant girl.
I remember turning ten. It was huge. Double digits. One decade! Almost, almost a teenager.
This year eliza joined karate and soon became the star of her class. She’s a natural athlete. She flourishes in that environment. Confidant, quick and strong. She got her yellow belt and moved into the adult class. I hope she keeps up with it, mostly so she can kick some ass and i won’t have to worry quite so much about her.
Eliza has the kind of beauty that makes me think of long summers running around barefoot, ponytail’d hair, popsicle stained clothes, freckles and giggles echoing through walls.
She is the kind of child that makes you smile just watching her skip by. Many times this year i would look out the window from work and see her walk by with one of the dogs on a leash. I loved watching her this way, when she didn’t know i was watching. I could see how confidant she was becoming. Comfortable in her own skin.
I can’t believe how strong and healthy she is. When eliza was just a baby and toddler we spent months in the hospital. Her in a giant bed, me sleeping on the floor beside her. Pneumonia, asthma, mystery ailments. It seemed for awhile there that the emergency was our second home. I remember so much worry. Such fear about ongoing illness, fear that she would always struggle. And somehow, somehow, she outgrew it all. She still has asthma and she still has life threatening allergies. But, it’s manageable. It is manageable and she is a happy, healthy girl.
I am so happy for her. I love her so much. Happy Birthday Eliza.
I’ve been noticing things.
Like walking out the front door long after the sun has set and the strong scent of blossoms in the air
Like the magic of a perfect raspberry bursting forth on my tongue
Like the pure bliss of a child calling to me for a goodnight kiss
These days are so fleeting. Life keeps moving so fast. Perhaps because i have found peace. I am at this place in my life where i accept the beauty in everything. I notice the beauty in everything. A simple t-shirt that fits just right and smells just so and always feels good. The rush of wind picking up the back of a sundress. The Bald Eagle circling the carcass of a deer. The pungent smell of manure sprayed on the fields. The echoing of boats and people on the lake.
I quit my job last saturday. Just like that. I realized that it was not fulfilling my needs, was bringing more negative than positive into my world and, I, into it. The next day i started a detox diet and removed all the bad stuff.
I have spent the past week in a foggy haze of toxins floating around and being ejected from my body. Spending hours planning meals, shopping and cooking. Filling my body with the most nutritious foods and nourishing my brain with novel after novel. Falling asleep before the children and sleeping peacefully for ten or more hours. Cleaning out the systems, top to bottom.
Another beginning.
She is 14 years old today.
14 years.
She is the smartest person i have ever met. She’s gracious and humble. Kind and caring.
She embodies all the best qualities her father and i have.
Happy birthday to my baby girl.