The other day my son and i were driving along in the car and he asked me “do you believe in God?” quickly followed up with “where do you go when you die?” I really would have preferred some question about blow jobs or dildos or, anything actually.
You see, i don’t believe in god. I never have. But, i don’t have a reason other than it just doesn’t make sense to me. My logical mind can’t process something that seems so, well, not true. As much as it tears me apart to think about dying and the nothingness that comes after; in terms of science death is the end. Nothing. Done and gone.
When i was young and my favourite, best friend in the world, little buddy dog died my parents tried to make me feel better by talking about “doggy heaven” and my little mind called bullshit on that one because if there was a heaven why would all the dogs be in one place and the people in another? Does that mean there’s a snake heaven?No, i knew it was all a ploy to make me think about something nicer than my dog getting hit by a car.
No. Doggie heaven is a little story that parents tell children to avoid having to talk about the nothingness that comes after the everythingness which is life.
So, i looked at my son and told him “no.” I was going to go on about religion being a personal choice and there is really lots of different things to believe in and that i do believe in being a good person, making mistakes, trying hard, helping out, generosity, kindness – but, he was satisfied. For him it’s not confusing. Confusion comes with time and feeling the weight of our own mortality and wanting desperately for some deeper meaning and either finding it or accepting what isn’t.