Every muscle in a body works together to propel it forward. Together they are this little team that takes you from here to whatever place you need to be. Lifting you out of bed, easing you into the comfy chair. They are so smart these muscles that when one is having trouble all the others will work a little harder to pick up the slack of the lazy, the misunderstood, the sick and the lonely.
The little clique.
At work we are a clique. We don’t work for the customer. Sure, the customer pays us. Feeds our families. Pays our mortgage. But we do all this so that at the end of the night, after the doors are locked and things are put in place we can toast our glasses and celebrate another success. Another day of a little family doing what it does best.
There are lots of changes happening. Winter is finally, gracefully, packing up. Some days a little frost on the ground lets us know it’s coming back – Spring is just stepping in for a bit. Picking up the slack.
A fight amongst siblings broke out in my kitchen the other day. There was a smack to a sisters face and tears and parental freaking out. When i returned from the obligatory placing in the timeout of the smacker my oldest daughter was there. Wiping away her sisters tears and putting a cold cloth on split lips. I almost disappeared at that moment. The little team.
Sixteen days until the marathon. Muscles are angry and tired and sore. Sleep is restless. Dreams of broken legs and shattered nerves. The system is falling apart. A war is waging between mind and body and body and mind. Two weeks to bring this house to order.
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I want to thank you, Jess, for trusting me with your blog – with your life, really. In my enthusiasm for photography and writing, I think I was insensitive to how deep and vulnerable a blog is, especially when you are committing to dig deep and write your real heartfelt experience. That is what is so satisfying about reading the intimate on-going story of a person’s life with all it’s raw edges, still forming processes and challenging feelings. After all the artifice and posturing we are obliged to deal with in our world, it is the real everyday experiences of living and loving and relating to our uniqueness that nourish us. But I almost begged you for your site address and you hardly know me. So I feel moved to tell you that after reading a few months of your blog: I love your writing – so direct and raw and searching; I love your huge heart and the bond you have with your children – it shines through your words and I am beyond impressed with your photography. Wow!! I would like to be able to take picture like you do!! And I want to tell you that I deeply appreciate the struggles and triumphs of daily life and have great respect for your soul searching. I am a counsellor and do workshops in personal growth and I have always been in love with the work of freeing and expressing our original nature in whatever form that takes. What I really want you to know is I will hold your heart gently and respectfully and with intense interest. And I hope you keep writing and taking pictures. You are very talented!!! And I think it is your soulfulness that will ensure your flowering. Before I run out of space – here are three blogs I think you might like: L.K. Ludwig: http://gryphonfeather.com Pia: http://www.piajanebijkerk.com (she compiled the book “My Heart Wonders” of her photos and those of her fellow bloggers – soon to be at amazon) and Leslie: http://lesliesophialindell.com/blog Hope they inspire you.
Time to taper! You will feel incredible on race day! I’m proud of you.