the same, just different

It's been a week of heart break, children turning into teenagers, arguments, misunderstandings, dancing in bare feet and sunset soccer matches. It's been a pretty typical week in the life of a family.
I just don't feel typical. I feel like my life is anything but typical.
There are just so many variables, so many things that can and do happen every single day. So many things i want to make better, but am helpless to do so. I am just me, just me and my kids doing our very best.
Eliza's best friend moved away the other day and every night this week i have come home from work to find her still up and sobbing in her bed. She has a broken heart and i can't make it better or easier for her. I want to tell her it's all okay, but that doesn't do anything. Instead i just hug her, stroke he head and tell her i love her. Anything else just hurts her more.
Tristan turned thirteen on monday. Thirteen. I am now parenting a teenager and that causes me a lot of anxiety because, really, i'm still a teenager myself. I feel like i still have so much to learn and need to pull deep into my resources to make it through this phase. She's moody and beautiful and i'm scared to put her picture on the internet now. I'm scared for her, for all the crap she's going to have to go through in the next seven years. Next year some of her friends will start trying all those scary things like boys and drugs and alcohol and wasn't i just doing that yesterday? I have to figure out how i'm going to handle the myriad of situations that are just around the corner.
And of course there is love. Love greatly complicates things doesn't it? I forgot how hard it can be. How little misunderstandings can become bigger issues. That it takes work, lots of work to make a relationship special. But then there is the making up which in my house requires loud music and dancing in slips and laughing really hard. Which really is the point isn't it?