two perfect circles entwined

The kids are away for two days with their dad. I know that those nights without them are the hardest for me. The nights that i lose myself in this whirlwind of despair and loneliness. I try to always work on those nights. Keep myself busy.
Last night i had to be alone. No work. I was worried. Worried about the silence of the long night.
It was the first time i'd been in that situation, no kids, no work, no plans, since that horrible night in december.
And i made it through. It wasn't fun. It wasn't easy. I kept myself busy with laundry, cleaning, music and, of course, the internet.
I woke up this morning and thought about that; the internet as pacifier for my loneliness. And i realized i do have friends. I may not recognize you if i passed you in the street, but when i get a message at midnight that says "do you know how amazing you are?" That, that is enough, more than enough, to put a little smile on my face and give me the courage to turn off, to get myself to bed and to face another day.