hanging in a dream ~ randomness in my head

Working valentines day is cruel and unusual punishment. This is the third one in a row i have worked. Last year the attempt to reconcile my marriage was rapidly coming to a close. The final silent moments of a marriage banging around in my head while i served table after table of happy or pretending to be happy couples.
I don't feel bitter this year. I feel happy. I am happy with the place my life is at. There are many things to change and look forward to. There are gardens to grow and children to flourish. There is a home to be filled with love and kindness.
I have finally, i think, come to a place where i have forgiven myself. I have truly forgiven myself for mistakes i made.
It is not easy for me to say that out loud, but there it is. I am happy to have had the marriage i did. I am happy for the love that was there. The children that we had. The years that we shared. Good times and bad, it was a magical ride.