Over the past week i have noticed ads on television for a new show "Toddlers and Tiaras." Each time the commercial came on a little shiver rolled down my spine and i had to say to myself – do not watch that. I could just picture my mother screaming at the television set. She has a habit of getting very angry with anything on television that goes against her tightly wound morals.
Anyway. I found myself up and alone on tuesday night and what did i watch? Toddlers and tiaras. My first reaction was horror. Little girls! With sprayed on tans and make-up and shaky, shaky hips. And their mothers and fathers! Encouraging, Participating.
I watched the whole show. And then i slapped myself in the face and very possibly kicked my own ass.
Who am i to judge? And more importantly, why would i? These are families who are supportive of each other, spending time together and, seemingly, celebrating each others successes and relishing in the company of family.
I am well aware that the show is nothing more than a glorification/vindication of these families. It's intent to create animosity in the viewer. To make you despise those parents and draw the unspoken correlation back to that little girl who was murdered.
I let my kids ride their bikes without a helmet in the driveway. Children die from not wearing a helmet. If you saw a photo of my child without a helmet will it spark you with anger? Perhaps, if it is a subject that is close to you. You may notice the lack of helmet and strike it up to a bad choice. Will it fill you with rage? I doubt it.
I've been thinking about the show since i watched it. Part of what i try to teach my kids is compassion and understanding of the world around them and to never judge other people for their actions, but to try and understand the reasons behind those actions. To accept the world and all the varied souls in it as dynamic and unique. We don't need to agree or understand everything, but we do need to be compassionate and forgiving.
January 28, 2009
in grace
1. instant coffee in a pinch.
2. finding a toonie in the melting snow.
3. learning as much as parker while reading him the Magic Treehouse series.
4. really, really great lentil soup.
5. an hour alone in the bookstore.
January 26, 2009
in grace
1. sick days with kids = hours of reading on the couch; a much needed brake.
2. ginger ale, out of the bottle, first thing in the morning to battle the Amitriptylene dry mouth.
3. having the excuse of "pre-reading" to indulge in the Twilight series.
4. good friends blogging.
5. the bacon grease burn on my arm coming to perfect scab picking healiness.
This morning Parker, in the midst of an angry moment, said to me "i wish you were in heaven."
Now, i know he's only five, he didn't really mean it and he didn't understand the sting those words would have. I couldn't get angry with him, i just told him how much those words hurt and asked him to apologize to me. I got a grudgingly angry "SORRY!"
Parker has always been a little fireball. When he is hurt, physically or emotionally, his reaction is anger. Even rage. I have tried and tried over the years to get him to understand the route of these aggressive feelings and channel them somewhere else. Or, better yet, to just walk away.
I have not had much success. I keep hoping that he will grow out of it, that he will change.
Wanting a five year old, whom i adore, to change is kind of a ridiculous goal. For now i will continue to reward the good and ignore the bad. Unless you have a different idea?
I am trying to wrap my head around writing a grace in small things post and i just can't think of anything to say today.
Yesterday i had a yucky doctors appointment and then i discovered eliza had lice after her bath and then while checking toby i found a flea in his hair. Total ugh. Then, of course, my night ended with a fight.
I took my first Amitryptiline before bed and woke up dizzy, foggy, and dehydrated. I hate this.
I am trying to see the good in everything, but sometimes, sometimes we all just need to wallow.