all in blue and grey

I have the hands of a seventy year old woman. I have since i was in highschool. Perhaps they were the hands of a fourty year old, back when i was sixteen.
I have never had long nails. I have never been in any obvious way "girly."
As an adult i have come to realize that girly does not always translate to womanly. And by womanly i mean sexy. I know we tend to make a connotation between womanly and old, or at the very least "round." If someone says you have a womanly figure, or at least says that to me, my brain tells me "fat." But now, as i rapidly approach middle age, womanly is taking on a whole new definition to me. Something i want to be. I want to be womanly. I have produced four children, my body oozes womanly. And i like it.
Womanly means that i feel more beautiful with each passing year. That i accept the inevitability of time. That time does not define me. That age does not define me. That there is beauty in wisdom and lines and experience. That beauty is depth.