harness your blame

It feels strange to be feeling like something is lost today when so much was won yesterday.
Today i feel like the innocence i once had is completely gone. I've negotiated my way through many twists and turns in this life. But, this year, i have found a heart that was lost.
I found my heart. It is a sad and broken thing, but it is mine.
The innocence i lost, the thing i lost today? An idealistic dream that someone else could take care of my heart. Could take care of me. It is my heart and mine to take care of. I am the only one responsible for me. I can't always be doing what i feel is right for others at cost to me.
It all sounds so simple. Just like the little lessons i try and teach my kids. Nothing is simple.
The complete breakdown of a marriage is always two sided and it is a terrible thing. Good people make bad decisions. Good couples don't always make it. Don't always make it through.
Today is not a great day. The towel isn't thrown in yet, but like in a boxing match, both sides are holding it in the air, ready to let it drop.