for where i live
for road trips
for cabins in the woods
for outdoor showers
for bad service
for surfer girls
for everything
for a perfect weekend.
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From the monthly archives:
November 2008
Last night i had one table stay in the restaurant really late. They were a nice couple and i didn't want to rush them which is a difficult task in an empty room late at night. An exercise in patience. I sat in the kitchen reading Gourmet and peeking out every once in a while to fill their coffees and check in.
Tomorrow i will be heading to tofino for a weekend without computers.
I have never been to tofino, but have wanted to go for as long as i can remember. It sits in my heart as a magical place, a rare place on earth. Reservations have been made at a lovely restaurant and a little cabin on the beach will be ours. Wetsuits will be rented and body surfing will happen. I am beyond excited.
I made all these plans while sitting in the kitchen last night. Hoping that i may be the one having the lovely evening this weekend.
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There is something to be said for a passing fancy. Something that is just there. When your heart tempts you.
There is also something to be said for love.
When something you love walks past you and becomes a passing fancy.
Knowing that fancy is momentary, but love is monumental.
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All i really want is to be forgiven. To be treated as a normal human being who is deserving of respect.
My oldest daughter was having a very difficult time in middle school. Just not fitting in socially. She would come to me in tears several nights a week because she "had no friends." She may be a little awkward socially, but she is vibrant, smart, silly and loves to laugh. She would be a great friend. I know that because she is my friend.
We stayed up late on sunday night talking together. I felt helpless to offer advice that would really help her. No matter how much i would like to i can't make people like her and frankly the thought of other children not being nice to her hurts me to my core. I offered her the option of going back to her old school, the school that we pulled all the kids out of. She said yes.
On tuesday morning she jumped out of bed and happily hobbled on her casted leg into her old school and the arms of her old friends. I stopped by at recess and watched her from my hiding place in my car with a group of girls and boys giggling and laughing. A face filled with joy.
Tears ran down my cheeks. Relief and joy to see her happy again.
Also a little sad. I want to be happy again. I want to have someone's arms to run into. Someone who will forgive me and make me laugh.
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Wow, those were some great questions. I'm going to start at the bottom and work my way up because it's easier that way.
Stacy of the fabulous misss asks:
You write often about really experiencing your kids and living life with them and watching them grow. I'm a new mom … my son is almost one. What are three pieces of parenting wisdom that you have? Simple or complex … how do you suggest I parent/mother to teach my children to live, laugh and love with integrity and respect?
For me i try and keep it simple. First is BREATHE. There are times when kids can be challenging, frustrating, infuriating; we all lose our cool on occasion. I like to try and remind myself to take a step back and breathe when i feel that adrenaline kicking in. They are just kids.
Second would be to try and enjoy the simple moments. To really try and be present when you see joy on your child's face. Soak it in and feel and appreciate that joy. It will bring you that same joy.
Lastly, for me, is to never be in a rush when you are having "kid" time. Everything else can wait, at least for an hour. Your child may never want to sing that song with you again.
Lia from Family Freitas asks:
What's your favorite food and color?
My favourite colour is blue, or maybe green, no blue. I recently took an interest in how my bedroom looks and purchased an antique milk wash dresser. I put a lovely lamp with an icy blue shade on it and an extra large candle in a glass jar of the same colour. A dark blue rug sits on the floor and a lovely raincloud archival print i bought from Supermarket sits in a frame on the wall. Every single time i walk into the room that little corner makes me smile.
I love food, it's hard to pick one thing. I am definitely a savoury girl. I can turn away anything sweet at anytime, but give me a cheese plate with some olives and a lovely glass of red wine and i will be your friend forever. I am also heavily carnivorous. I was a vegetarian for fifteen years and since i switched teams i have become a lover of venison, fish, and steak – a six ounce filet mignon is near nirvana for me.
Gwendomama of the blog of the same name asks:
What is the strangest google search you had last month? or this month.
You know I am asking that because MINE was 'addicted to prostate massage'.
Well i happened to look at these today and let me tell you i curse the day i said "fucking" on this website because it creates some creepy searches. But the top five so far this month:
1. why am i so fucking depressed
2. i'm all alone its just me how i miss my family i wish it was yesterday today i dont feel very brave
3. very sore bum just passed monster stool
4. thank you for letting me know that you will not offer me the position
5. tips on making the loudest stinkiest and longest fart ever to be made and smelled
I know number one and two aren't strange, but they touched me.
Ada's son Franklin whose mom writes the awesomtastic Dirty Olive asks:
"What are you doing?"
Well Franklin, as i sit here typing my kids are all upsatirs. Tristan is in the bath because she can finally do that. You see she broke her leg seven weeks ago and had a cast on for six, but last week i bought her an aircast that she can take on and off. She is smelling much better.
Toby and Parker are playing an elaborate game that includes army men, stuffed animals, train tracks and the two dogs.
Eliza is hanging on the bannister in mid chin-up position. She does this quite often because she is kooky that way.
When i finish typing this i'm going to go up and read some stories and tuck them all in.
My total BFF Christle asks:
What is up with that pumpkin? Seriously that looks like pumpkin abuse
That pumpkin is still sitting on the fence in the driveway. I took that picture yesterday in perfect rot stage. I also messed with it in Picnik which is my very favourite photo editing site. I do plan on abusing that pumpkin more tomorrow.
Now the more difficult questions.
Jerusalem from miastoriadivita asks:
Are you still working at the restaurant at night? Have you thought about working a more day time/morning cafe so you are not apart as much?
Yes, i am still working at night and it has been an issue. You see, i love my job. I love working nights. Daytime shifts would earn me far less money. Also, and this is important to me, i stayed home with the kids for ten years. I put in a lot of years as primary caregiver and i am not ready to go back to that. I love the financial independence and, yes, getting out of the house. I really, really like my job and i haven't had anything like that for a long time. For the time being i have no plans of changing my employment even though it would probably make my personal life a little easier.
And finally Pam from I want my mom asks:
I was just wondering if you and Shane are still working things out or if things eventually fell through
The short answer is that yes, we are still trying to work things out. It has been a very hard process that i haven't wanted to write about because the emotions run so high and it can be one of those things where you say something you regret. I can tell you that 70% of married couples who separate and try and reconcile end up divorced. Thanks for rooting for us though.
And that's that. Thanks guys. That was fun, except for that last bit.
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