spirit

Life has taken a very slow turn. Tristan and i sit around all day trying to keep entertained. We've had lots of giggles. We are only a week in and i don't think she'll be ready for school, in a wheelchair, for at least another week.
I've had plenty of time to sit and think.
Just when i felt that life was spinning away from me i was given this opportunity to slow right down. It's been good, a little reprieve at the perfect moment.
I've been ruminating about self. As in me and my sense of self. Not how others perceive me or what i think they see, what i am. I know who i am. I just don't fully understand this thing called self. How i want to be in this world and what i want reflected at me and by me. I don't think i can find peace until i understand this thing.
There are the simple things – mother, daughter, friend. But there is something more, something deeper that i left behind, that i have lost. The spirit of me. The passion, love, compassion, sympathy, longing, searching. The forces that combine in your heart and soul to make a unique whole person.