Today he is five

To my youngest son, to my baby, i wish you the happiest and sweetest fifth birthday.
Parker is the light in my eyes. He is such a wonderful, gentle, sweet boy with the temper of a rabid hamster. He will be screaming and throwing things one minute and kissing me and telling me he loves me the next. I still wake up most mornings with his angelic face beside mine. The minute he opens his eyes he smiles and leans over and plants a squeeky kiss on my cheek.
There have been many mornings this year that i awoke and silently wept beside him. Admiring the innocence in his pudgy sleeping face. Praying for some wisdom in a difficult year. His morning rituals always helped me to get out of bed with a little sparkle in my heart.
Parker is full of exuberance for most things that life brings his way. Always eager to try something new or play the same old game as long as his big brother is by his side. They have a magical relationship where in the good moments they can play for hours on end wrapped up in a playmobil mega-epic. They also, as most brothers do, passionately fight. The physical fighting, i'm realizing, is truly a male thing. The girls settle for name calling and hurtful comments. I'm never sure which is worse. I do know at the end of every day my children love each other and want to be together as much as possible.
Parker is my youngest. As i celebrate his growing and expanding into the world; each new year, new success also makes me a little sad. Each milestone achieved means the last time i will see this developmental goal crossed. I am now a mother to four school aged children and as i sit here alone in the house, for the first time since i brought tristan home from the hospital, i can't help but wonder where the years have gone. I hope i will remember more of the small moments as sleep deprivation creeks it's way out of my brain.
I know one thing. Each of my children have been an incredible gift. I may not always be the best parent in the world. I may really suck at crafts. But, the love i have for them in my heart is ever-growing and tears me open every single day.
I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Happy birthday parker.