We went to Rainbows last night. It is such a fantastic program. It tugs at my heart strings when they talk about loss. The loss of a family. But, it has been really great for the kids to see that the experience they are going through, the feelings, are not theirs alone. That other kids are experiencing the same things.
Separation has taken a turn for the worse this week as money issues get involved. I am reminded once again how little value is placed on being a stay-at-home mom. I have actually been questioned how i contributed to the family. It hurts me so much to see myself valued at zero dollars when i gave up ten plus years of my life to raise my children. And they are fantastic children. The value in that is not measurable.
I don't want to drag this through the broken internet waters. But i am just so dismayed by just how slowly we have come along as a society in valuing family.
On the other hand toby got out of bed this morning and said "mom? mom! you are the best mom ever. No really. I can't think of a better mom than you."
my sweet honeybee
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow.
I was hoping that your ex wouldn’t “Go there”. Especially considering the kids and their well-being when they are with you.
Looks like he has.
Depriving you will deprive them.
I have to say I am a little surprised. From your writing, I thought he would be a better guy than that.
Maybe you should present his attorney’s with a back bill for the hours of child care, house keeping and cooking while he was at work. Even at a minimum wage the amount would blow their socks off.
No matter who was to blame or who walked away, you put a lot of years into the marriage and a lot of care with the kids. I understand bitterness and anger on his part, I REALLY do, but this just isn’t cool. I really don’t see you as someone who is out to take the man’s fortune away. To give you a hard time about a fair settlement is disgusting to me.
I’m really sorry.
When I worked fulltime (often more than 40 hours a week) and was on my own with my boy, everyone thought I was great. Since I got married and stayed home, it’s like I’m nothing, without value. It sucks.
It does suck ass big time. I am so sorry that it has turns out this way. I agree with the first person. Present him a bill.
In this country, where we have no national health care or reliable care when we get old, we have to depend on our own pensions. Most women who have had families have spent at least 11 years out of the work force, caring for their kids, and so have very little coming to them in the way of social security or pensions when they get old. It’s insane, isn’t it?
I would definitely compile a bill. charge overtime for all those middle of the night feedings and weekends.
I thought Canada was more progressive. Sorry.
Keep heart and try to remember that we are all broken and crawling through this world. I have been where you are and I can tell you ‘it gets better’. Unfortunately the pain dictates action in the beginning as everyone struggles to redefine their boundaries and roles,etc. It took quite a few years for my ex and I to grow up and out of our ‘circumstances’ and when we did we were able to enjoy our one ‘larger’ family together. We share meals and vacations and his wife and I love spending time together! There was a time when we were bitterly fighting things out in court, but after all was said and done we realized we were not that different all along, and it took years to respect one another again – but it can happen! My children are the true benefactors of the situation because we have been able to embrace the opportunity. My 19 year old son says “Mom, I wouldn’t change a thing!” Wow………..