Yesterday was therapy day. I really didn't want to go. It is finally sunny and beautiful out. The kids and i are itching to go to the lake for the years first swim.
I have been feeling better. Adjusted to my change in medicine, sleeping a little better. I even cleaned the whole house and bounced on the trampoline. I haven't done that since i broke my tailbone – jump or clean.
But, i went. The thing that i really don't like about my case worker is that she leaves everything up to me; if i am given the chance to not talk, to not feel uncomfortable, i'm going to jump on that. She asked me what i wanted to work on.
"I dunno."
"Do you want to take this hour and read a book, or maybe go to the beach?"
"With you?"
"No. Instead of seeing me."
"Okay."
So. I'm done with therapy every week. For now. I will still see my psychiatrist every three weeks where he can continue to beat my heart up, but my case worker let me go. I can go back any time. I just feel very full of things to "work" on already. I do think it is beneficial and i am seeing positive changes. It is just too hard for my tender-hearted self to get beaten up on a weekly basis. I need more time in between to digest.
wednesdays are for weeping
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{ 5 comments }
This is all good, IMO. It makes me smile for you just a bit.
Take progress where you can get it, right? :)
A walk on the beach or near a lake sounds good too.
Jess, if you are weeping every Wednesday at therapy that’s a good indicator that you should be there. Getting better from mental illness is not about just relaxing on a beach or having fun. It takes hard work and lots of it. Please don’t take too long of a break. Get back to work with your therapist (or find a different one that you feel better about!) and help yourself get well for your sake and your family’s sake.
Happy Mother’s Day, Jess. I know it’s hard, but do what you need to do, whether it’s cry in therapy or walk on the beach. Take care of YOU.
xoxo
Elizabeth
happy mommy day!