the contender

November 1, 2006

in parker

cool tractor
Have i told you lately how much i love this boy?
Parker, my only child who doesn't go to school, has been with me every moment over these past couple of months.
The hardest months of my life.
I look at his beautiful face sleeping beside me. No matter how sad i was as i trudged up the stairs to bed, lying besdie him, smelling his still sweet sleepy breath, i knew that i had to make everything okay.
I had to make peace with my heart. Let happiness live side by side with the despair.
Parker has the most dynamic personality of all my kids. The highest highs and the lowest lows.
He loves to kiss me and hug me. He rubs my back when i lay down beside him. Asking me if i'm feeling better.
He is the perfect bookend to my children.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

MBCBUYB November 2, 2006 at 12:30 am

Thank you for being a blogger.
I lost my fiance and son 6 years ago now and I have not been able to get over it.
I love the fact that I am able to live pseudo-vicariously through people like you.
You are an excellent mother and you should be proud.

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TB November 2, 2006 at 6:11 am

Beautiful.

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Renee November 2, 2006 at 8:05 am

What a sweetheart. He looks like one and definitely sounds like one.

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Chair November 2, 2006 at 11:49 am

Have you ever read The Poisonwood Bible? (Barbara Kingsolver) It’s very good for a number of reasons but the one part I remember best is when the mother says that the youngest child is always the favorite. Not that a mother chooses the youngest over the others but that the youngest one is always the ‘baby’.’ The one you best remember nursing, because it’s your last and you cherish that so much more. Because as the older ones grow up and grow more independent and go to school, it’s always the youngest one that needs you the most.
I wish I know who I lent my copy to years and years ago, I’ve been wanting to re-read it now that I’m a mother myself.

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marian November 2, 2006 at 2:34 pm

I love his hands. I do miss having that little body to tuck next to my own some days…. they all grow up!

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kilowatthour November 2, 2006 at 6:49 pm

oh, jess. and he’s such a cutie, on top of it all.

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adwina - insparenting.com November 2, 2006 at 8:25 pm

That’s so sweet…
and Parker is beautiful..

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