July 2006

hair of the dog. stat.
After crying for a bit i called shane and he gave me a pep talk and i went BACK (seventh time) out to the pool. I spotted Karianna and she squeeled, gave me chocolates and called me the canadian dooce.
ahem.
I stayed with her for the rest of the night. She was cute and fun and bought me drinks on the club mom account. Hello lemon drop drink. I have never tasted your sweetness, nor felt the pain you are causing my head this morning.
I was also mistaken for Fluid Pudding several times.
Marybeth and i stil haven't met. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was here, spooning me.

{ 4 comments }

I've been shopping. Finally got to see that sephora store that everyone talks about. Also managed to be suckered into $100 worth of make-up and skin creams because apparently i'm getting older and need to take better care of myself.
Also, some new shoes and gifts for the kids. Finally, i had to get out of there because (1) the mall was huge and i was worried about getting lost and (2) my extreme anxiety is causing me to spend money i don't really have on things i don't really need.
I find myself wandering around seeing little groups of people, recognizing them and hoping they will recognize me and say hello. They don't. I fear i'm totally unknown and unable to change that.
I did, however, moments ago, run into jenB who was sweet and charming and hugged me and it was fine. She also introduced me to melissa who looked just like her pictures, was sweet and had a bag full of booze, heather who is beautiful and tall and has great hair, alice who i love and adore and wish i could be friends with, mrs. kennedy who is one tall glass of water and sexy beyond belief, and maggie who is so cute, she looks like a friend you'd like to have.
They were all very nice to me and i was uncomfortable and, not surprisingly, at a loss for words. They were heading off to the mall and i wished so desperately i could be a tag along because i feel really lonely and like a loser. But who likes a loser. So, i will continue to try. But my heart is feeling a little sad and i wish shane was here to help me. He is the perfect compliment to me. He speaks for me when i need him to and helps coax me out of my shell so that i can actually get to know people and them me.

{ 14 comments }

Last night after a glass (or two) of some very delicious Coppola chardonnay i got my nerve up to walk around outside. I walked by a woman sitting on a bench talking on her cell phone and recognized her. It was Jenn frommommy needs coffee!
I circled around her like the shy girl i am and finally got up the nerve to talk to her. She was really sweet and i'm pretty sure had no idea who i am and said y'all a lot. We talked for awhile and she made me laugh and feel a litlle better.
Today i am going to go shopping and shark around the hotel a bit and try and meet some people.
Here's my desk:

and here's me. Tired and nervous and in my jammies:

{ 3 comments }

Strange day. I feel really weird today. Have all day. I've never been away from all my kids. I haven't been alone for nine years. Who the hell am i anyway?
Shane, being the awesomest husband ever left me a note and a song on my computer.
Here's the note (minus an x-rated p.s.)
Hi Beautiful,
Enclosed in this folder is a new song I made for you. Not sure if you've heard it yet, but I wanted to save it for while you are away, since that is what it is about. (I'll be working on an improved version while you are away.)_
Have a great conference. Make yourself go out and have fun. Remember, making conversation with people is easy if you just ask questions and listen.
(Don't drink too much at mixers because it will just make you feel isolated and lonely.)
Me and kids will be fine. So don't worry about us. Enjoy your time alone.
I love you.
Shane
I'd share the song, but fetch won't run on my stupid laptop. When mb get's her ass here maybe she can do it. Until then i leave you from lovely hotel room overlooking the highway.

{ 6 comments }