November 2005

MB had a great post today about small towns and the de-population of them. The fact that young people move away from the village and all the values that were once held there to make a life in cities and suburbs. This move away from small town living has eroded the cultural landscape. In most cities, by way of necessity, people live on their own. Without the familial joys and bonds of the village we live a do or die mentality.
This is nothing new. Living in the city can be alienating and lonely. Especially for mothers. All the baby and mom clubs can't bring about that sense of belonging like a small town can. Sure, there are always exceptions: the great neighbourhoods, the perfect group of friends. But, by and large, if you read blogs by mothers there's a lot of isolation and loneliness.
I am, of course, speaking from experience. And my experience is very skewed by my total phobia of social situations. My desire to have friends; yet, totally unable to make them.
But, i can say that since we moved to the country we have met more like-minded people, made more friends and have a more active social life – both as a family and as grown-ups – than we ever did in the city.
There is something about the total lack of consumer activities (i'm talking about no shopping malls, no pay-to-play activities for kids) that makes you have to go out and find something to do. Go out and meet people. Get involved. Be a part of the community. There is something so secure about knowing almost everyone and them knowing you.
Last thursday there was a large fire on my street. A garage/workshop down the road caught on fire at 11:00 at night. Before the fire trucks arrived every neighbour on the street was out helping. Not watching, helping. Even the volunteer firefighters, long after the trucks had arrived other firefighters kept arriving in their trucks to give a hand. In my experience in the city people don't help. When Eliza was 14 months old she had an anaphylactic allergic reaction. Two ambulances and a firetruck came to our house, sirens and lights on, nobody did anything except peek through their curtains. I know it's not spite, it's fear. I think in a city your actions are guided by fear, whereas in the country – without fear – you can act with your heart.
I know that if one of my kids are sick and i can't make it to the school on time all i have to do is call and someone will take my kids for me. Without hesitation. And, because i know everybody i don't worry about who they are with. I trust that everyone watches out for my children as i do theirs. There are 62 kids in the school and i know every single one of them; most of them have been to my house at some point.
Of course, the biggest problem is employment. Most of the people we know have either filled a small niche: the doctor, veterinarian, dairy farmer, upscale restaurant, carpenter, lawyer, accountant, community newspaper, all the things that are still needed, or they commute to the city. Others, like shane, have a job that they can work from a small office here and travel as necessary.
It's a commitment. Small town living. It takes a while to get used to, not unlike being a responsible consumer – spending a bit more to shop locally. It pays off in the small town landscape that you are perpetuating. I know it's not for everybody. As of November 28th we've been here two years. The first six months were hell. Now, we rarely look back.

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