So, Dr. Sears and your sidekick wife i hate you. I hate all the years of sleep you have stolen from me. I want them back. That's right Dr. i want a refund because you lied to me. You told me my children would sleep better if they slept with me. That they would be confident and happy. That they would transition to new things easily; feeling secure in my attachment to them.
Let's check in here on my attachment parenting success:
kids that have gone to preschool – 0
kids that have dropped out of preschool after a few classes because of severe separation anxiety – 3
kids who regularly sleep through the night – 1
kids who wake me up at least once a night – 3
kids who wake me up 5 or more times a night – 1
kids who can't spend an hour with anybody but family – 2
years mother has been sleep-deprived – 8
years mother has nursed babies to sleep – 8
years mother has had to lay down for at least 1/2 an hour with a child to get them to sleep – 8
years mother has been stressed – 8
Dr. Sears can kiss my sagging sleep-deprived ass.
Okay, i guess i need to be more CLEAR… Please look here. Here you will find a new template for my blog that i paid somebody to do and it took them, like, 4 months. And it doesn't dazzle as i had hoped and now i am pissed. Plus, i don't even know how the hell to get in there as SHE won't return my emails and let me know the passwords and all the shit.
Leave comments in this here space y'all.
Also, i'm feeling needy so check out my new photos on flickr and comment on those too.
Here's a tease of my super-model daughter, she takes my breath away.
My mood is so crazy lately. Up, down, UP, DOWN, down, up. Now, before you say anything yes, i have tried medications. Hate them! With a passion.
Right now i am like matte paint, dull and lacklustre and easily stained. The energy i had last week to be the super-parent has been drained. Now, i dread another puppet show or day of finger-painting. Part of the problem is sex – or lack there of. More appropriately intimacy. We have been so wrapped up in the business of our lives and the whirlwind of kids and playdates and pottery, choir, swimming, ballet, piano, skating, music class – phew! that we have lost sight of each other; shane and i. We are, literally, strangers in the night. Not helping matters is the season of the cold and flu – me then him then me (with a cold sore too – woohoo).
I think i forget how much i need that intimacy, long nights of chatter and catching up. Getting in synch with each other. Calming the up downs. Calming ME down.
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In the meantime COMMENTS – please.
I have been remiss in posting as of late. Sorry about that. I will return to my normal schedule tomorrow.
I was getting a lot of google hits for "drowning your kids" because of that tragedy in California and it was too depressing for me. I am tender-hearted like my children and these things affect me deeply. I needed to distance myself.
See you later alligator.
Lately things have been going very well. Freakishly well. I went through a hard time over the summer. Sad and lonely is really nothing new among the mommy set. That doesn't make it any easier when you're going through it.
Now though, now i'm happy. I've hit one of those mom-strides. Play-doh, park, hide and seek – hurray! Perhaps, part of it is that lots of other mothers in British Columbia are suffering through a teachers strike. No school = no fun. I see that connection to my unhappiness in the summer. It's hard to keep school aged children entertained all the time and it's hard to justify putting them in summer camps and activities when you're a stay-at-home. I have the luxury of having my children in a private school. No strike here. I feel guilty as we drive by the picket lines and we wave sheepishly as we are on our way to school.
As i digress… I'm happy. Parker is so darn cute right now – Eliza too. It's easy to have fun when your subjects are just happy to be in your presence. I wish i could document every moment and minutiae of our day for memory so that one day when i'm old i can relive these precious moments.
I'm trying to potty train Parker and not really having much success, but it's totally okay because the process is so endearing. When i ask him if he has to use his potty he shakes his head vehemently; "no, no pee." And then promptly pees his pants.
Okay, it doesn't sound that cute. Believe me though it is when you're in love.
And Eliza she is stepping out of her shell in small and miraculous ways. She has until recently been attached to me like velcro, but recently took a risk by taking ballet. She loves it and for the first time in her small life she is independent of any family for 45 minutes every tuesday. Small steps. She spends all week unpacking and packing her ballet clothes, getting ready, taking pride in her newly found independence. We even have a little friend of hers over for a weekly playdate. Soon, she says, she might be ready to go to someone else's house solo.
Love i tell you, it's a beautiful thing.