We had a joyous evening of trick'r treatin. As a bonus when we moved here we happened to move into a neighbourhood where everybody goes full throttle into halloween. Although all the houses are on two acre parcels we live on a loop that is about two kilometers around. It's the perfect poop you out trick'r treat romp. Probably 20 houses. Each house handing over oodles of treats and in some cases cans of pop? and full size chocolate bars. Thank-you wealthy country retirees.
Parker is getting sick and sat the whole time in the stroller, cozy in his pumpkin costume eating lollipops. Eliza,as the angel, made it the whole way without a complaint. Toby (dracula) and his friends Nicky and Roman, characters from the Matrix complete with shaved heads!, yelled out "awesome" and "double awesome" every time they saw a firework. And Tristan the Port-a-potty! Let me tell you that girl can rock out the cardboard box costume. She collected more candy than anyone as she was (a) so original, (b) she ducked down in the box at every door step and when they answered popped her head out yelling "trick or stink!", and (c) well she's Tristan and beautiful and cute and funny even dressed up as a toilet.
Photos coming later today. I was a little remiss in the taking of photos as the day was such a huge mess of business, but hopefully, i got a few decent ones.
When we got home i got Parker into bed and lay down beside him and he said "really need booby."
I am feeling nostalgic, reminiscent. Partly because of a reconnection to an old friend. Making me think of my life so far. The choices you make, opening and closing doors. Having children takes you on such a mind-blowing life path. A path that i love and adore, yet, i can't help but wonder what would have happened if i'd taken different steps, made different choices.
Shane and i often like to reminisce about the days before kids. How life was so easy, so self-involved. The long breakfasts over newspapers. A bed to ourselves! Time to enjoy each others company. We miss that. Each other.
We look at our friends who chose not to have kids, or didn't, or couldn't and feel jealous and sorry for them at the same time. The focus on the perfect house, life, career. We focus on keeping the chaos to a minimum and hoping that we all have clean underwear in the morning and keeping the kids bathed at least weekly! (Thank you swim lessons for completing that task for me!) Struggling with the monumental grocery bills – comparing how much we spend with other families of the same size. $1000 a month thank-you very much.
Also, the rain. Torrential rain for days, weeks on end. Moving 30 kilometers and enormous changes in weather. We didn't plan for that. But, the rain reminds me of Vancouver; my childhood and youth there. The rain comforts me that way. Makes me feel like i'm back home.
That and halloween costumes covered with raincoats.
Happy trick or treatin!
Wow. An interesting day. I remember reading once about anonymous versus public blogs. If you don't want people from your past to find you, don't do it. Well, i thought that didn't apply to me and i was wondering if anybody even cared about me. Today, i found out as my one and only ex-boyfriend found me.
It was kind of nice to know that someone actually gave a rat's ass what had happened to me. I just don't want my family here because that would be weird.
***
Tonight we went to a halloween party. It was nice and fun and total hell for me. I suppose for one because Parker was totally freaked out by the costumes and scary decorations and as such he wouldn't leave my lap. More specifically my ass seated on a chair in front of a big bowl of Doritos. On the way home i decided that i am totally suffering from social anxiety. Have been my whole life. I completely clam up and to be honest i jumped at the chance to go home. I'm okay with a few people at our house and i'm totally okay with board meetings. Anything else and i very nearly poop my pants or at the very least come home and spend a while on the pot.
Gross. Way too much information. I'll try again tomorrow.
Kim asked me what attracted me to attachment parenting to begin with. I wish i had a well-thought out answer. Something that began with: well during my first pregnancy i spent many hours researching styles of parenting… . But, it doesn't. Attachment parenting was recommended by the women on a parenting list i belonged to, a list full of some of the most intelligent and articulate women i have ever met. The methodology just felt right to me. Sleep with the baby? Sounds good. Wear the baby in a sling or carrier? Even better. I loved my baby bjorn.
When Tristan was born it all just came together because, to be honest, i was head over heels in love. I couldn't bear to be apart from her, or to even let anybody else hold her (much to my mother-in-laws dismay and ongoing disapproval).
Actually, at the time i really didn't get much support as it all just seemed a little weird to my parents, my husbands parents and pretty much every lay person who felt qualified to comment on my life. If i was to be honest it was great when i had only one and worked well with two. But! But, four kids? I just need some sleep. I need to step up to the plate and learn to be a little tougher. Parker is two years old now. He's not a baby anymore and can definitely sleep a little longer. Tonight i put him to bed at 7:30, it's 9:30 now and he has woken 3! times already. This is normal, for me, but not for most parents.
Attachment parenting is not this. You've got to suffer from pretty high self-esteem to want to start a new ritual based on something so icky.
So my friend over at lifehacker has written an article that says what we all already know. Chocolate rules, boxes of raisins are punishment. Seriously, if any of you hand out raisins, sesame snaps, apples or figs (seriously) you are totally dead to me and i may send my children to your house to punch you in the kneecaps.
Although my youngest daughter, Eliza, is allergic to peanuts and treenuts we still hold true to the chocolate rules rule. A few weeks before halloween i order unreasonably large amounts of chocolate from vermont nut-free chocolates. After as much candy as possible is collected we trade Eliza her stash for our stash. Win-win. We get treats for weeks and she gets something special.
meeting tonight. finance meeting. my brain hurts.