It started raining yesterday. Really raining. It's not a bad thing as it is so dry around here after several months without rain. The drastic changes in weather can be a little tough on mental health though.
Yesterday, after school on the playground there was a tree frog invasion. There was literally so many frogs that hundreds would jump with every step you took across the grass. It was biblical in proportions. We spent a couple hours catching frogs, putting them on our coats, rearranging them and moving them back into the forest. Each and every one of my kids have made a complete transformation from city kids scared of bugs and critters to grubby, carefree, country kids.
It's funny, now that Parker and Eliza have all day together they get along better than ever. They are sitting here playing trains together happily. I knew that one day all that money invested in Thomas train stuff would pay off. I hope my children will be friends as adults. I try to teach them, more than anything, to love and respect each other. Meaning all the little differences that they find so annoying in each other. All the little nuances that they pick up on and then use to mercilessly drive each other crazy.
Tristan being the oldest and probably the one most subjected to mistakes and over-zealous parenting (being the first at everything we learn with her and refine through the others)., gets along the least with all the others. She adored Parker as a baby and was very maternal and often jealous of me, she wanted to be the mother. Now that he is older and more mobile and opinionated she really doesn't have time for him He "bugs" her. They all "bug" her. It's funny when she is out the house is mostly harmonious, but when she's here it's all fighting all the time.
She constantly amazes me with her maturity and intelligence. She can do so many things so easily. I have never been that way, except perhaps with writing. She can hear a song once and then play it on the piano, or the recorder, or guitar… or even the table. She completed grade 2 and 3 last year and is working on grade 3/4 and some 5 this year. But, as i think is often the case with smart or gifted children she is socially awkward and probably below age level. She has trouble making friendships "stick". It doesn't bother her though. She's happy to have a playdate if i set it up for her, but otherwise doesn't bother. She's an introvert like me and her dad. We haven't modeled that very well for her. We rarely, if ever, have friends over. We don't even really have any and don't really make an effort to change that.
But, we love our families, warts and all. This weekend i am dreading going to Vancouver to help my brother celebrate his one year sober and to say goodbye to him as he is moving to Sweden to be with the woman he loves whom he met on a Lord of the Rings message board. I really don't went to go. I think part of it is that it will all take place at his church and churches make me very uncomfortable. Everybody's too nice, but in a way that makes me feel like they have expectations of me. I don't like expectations because i am being set up to fail. Also, i just don't trust him. I don't trust that this is going to last and i am just so scared he is going to break my heart again. My brother was my hero. And then i had to save him from himself and it was hard and disappointing. Disappointment is a difficult pill to swallow.
Plus, the whole moving to Sweden thing. I just don't get that. I don't get internet romance. I think probably because i never participated. I think too that getting up and moving to another country when your newly sober is probably not the wisest idea. He has no support networks there.
I suppose that i look at my children and worry for them and the genetic make-up they've inherited. And i want them to love each other and support each other and not be disappointed in each other.
I was tagged by Chantal at Bread Crumbs in the Butter and dammit, i hate chain mail which is all it really is, but i'm too superstitious or too much of a keener not to do it. I got tagged!
Ten Years Ago:
Shane and I were living in a huge 2 bedroom apartment in Victoria, it was actually the main floor of a character house – i still miss it. We were young and happy. Just us and our dog, Pesto. I was working at an alternative newspaper and running a small record label. Shane was starting his graphic design business and playing in a locally popular band, Gallery 6. We went out to see bands pretty much every night. It was awesome and i still miss it, sometimes.
Five Years Ago:
We had just purchased our first home, a duplex in Victoria – we didn't stay long. We bought a fixer upper a year later and made our fortune (ha!) off that. Tristan was three and Toby was one. What i really remember is how happy i was. I had great friends whom i had a daily playdate with at the local park every weekday, Tristan and Toby happily rode around in the bicycle trailer for hours on end and i was in great shape. About 2 weeks later i found out i was pregnant with Eliza.
One Year Ago:
Four kids and a new house in the country. A new school for Tristan, her fourth, and Toby's first year in kindergarten. I was very lonely last september. The first few months in the country were very tough. I've never felt so isolated and alone. But then we found our school and the community involved with it and everything changed.
Yesterday:
Hmmm. I shaved off an ungodly amount of pubic hair and have been paying the price back in golden itchiness ever since.
I also took Toby to a four hour birthday party (insane parents) and then went shopping at Old Navy. I'm sorry, but i love Old Navy. I can buy three pairs of cords for $100 and wear them all winter, then toss them out. Plus! They come in short. Hello size 8 short. You fit me perfect – no sewing – I don't sew. Then i went to see The Forty Year Old Virgin. I left after 40 minutes because my popcorn was gone and the movie wasn't nearly good enough to waste anymore of my precious four hours on. It was funny though and i laughed so hard i cried during the waxing scene – i think probably out of sympathy. Plus, there was two guys sitting right behind me laughing obnoxiously loud and kicking the seat PLUS THERE WAS ONLY THREE OF US IN THE ENTIRE THEATRE. But somehow sitting right behind me was the best spot they could find.
Then i picked up Toby from the party, drove home, made lasagna, cleaned up the kitchen, fed the dogs, folded laundry, fed the chickens, bathed the kids, did the homereading from school, put the kids to bed, nursed Parker 75 times, watched Desperate Housewives, West Wing (walked the dogs) and Greys Anatomy, read a few blogs, did "it", put the chickens to bed, nursed Parker 75 more times, went to bed.
Five Songs I Know All The Words To:
I really can't answer this because i know the words to pretty much every song i've ever heard more than once, i'm funny that way. Anyway, the 3hive podcast has lots of songs that i think are pretty cool.
Five Snacks:
rice crackers with creme fraiche and jalapeno jelly
milk duds – only available at the theatre
grocery store cucumber sushi
apple sauce
veggies and dip
Five things I'd do with 100 million dollars:
I don't know! Buy a bigger house and a new car – some hybrid that seats 8!
Play with my children.
Donate a lot.
Eat lots of yummy food.
Get a swimming pool.
Five places I'd run away to:
Kihei, Maui
Toronto
New York
Italy
France
Five things I would never wear:
high waisted pants
hot pink
blue eyeshadow
ass writing
bikini
Five Favourite TV Shows
Six Feet Under
Entourage
The Sopranos
Survivor
Rescue Me
Five greatest joys
Tristan
Toby
Eliza
Parker
An evening out with Shane
Five favourite toys:
iBook
iPod
eMac
Canon Digital Rebel XT
the trampoline
Current Reads:
Entertainment Weekly
A gazillion children's books
Little Earthquakes
Heavier Than Heaven
Barnyard in Your Backyard
Five People I am tagging to do this:
kiss my crisis
twisted cindy
refinnej
Why oh why didn't anybody tell me?
As I have said before i have a somewhat morbid curiosity about the whole bikini/Brazilian waxing thing. I have never waxed my girly parts before, but have been dying to try, but always to chicken to follow through.
Anyway, last night while the entire house was sleeping i watched a show (Cathouse – don't judge) that had some detailed and gratuitous examples of some classy ladies and how they shave to achieve all kinds of looks; including, but not limited to the landing pad, totally bald and a personal favourite – the soul patch.
So this morning in the shower i got brave and probably a little carried away and did a little shaving. What i'm upset about is the itch! Oh my fucking god the itch is killing me. How could you not have told me and how the hell do i make it stop. I'm dying here. I walked around the mall with my hands in my pants today before i realized how truly itchy i was and that i was out in public.
I cannot go to school tomorrow with my hands in my pants! How and when will it stop.
Three hours ago Shane went to put Parker to bed and ever since then i have heard very loud snores through the baby monitor. This means he went to sleep at, hmmm, just past 7. Tired is the rule in our house.
Last night Eliza, Toby and Parker were up for hours and hours on end. Eliza had bad dreams about swiper the fox. Ah kids.
I have been sitting enjoying some alone time and reflecting and watching a very scary movie – Open Water. Needless to say; dive trips are not in my future. Heck i've had trouble swimming in swimming pools alone since watching that James Bond movie – was it Jawbreaker? – at 6 or 7 years old.
I think i will join my lovelies in bed now, but no doubt we will be very out of sync tomorrow.
