August 2005

It's been a funny day today. We are trapped inside for the third day in a row. Yesterday we tackled the kids bedrooms and i moved Tristan into her own room where she can practice her disturbingly high self-esteem poses in privacy. I transformed Toby and Eliza's room into a den of fun.
So, with all those exciting changes they did pretty good playing up there on their own for a good part of the day. Tristan spent her time making skull and crossbone signs for her door and a "hair styles 25

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Have you ever felt like you just had too much going on? Too much shit to deal with and you just want to crawl under the covers and hide. I would do that today, but i would be attacked by children thinking it was some kind of mommy in a tent game.
The kids school starts next tuesday and the school is not ready. Not ready in a way that means we don't have an occupancy permit on one of the buildings. And it all falls onto me. It's my problem. What the hell was i thinking (becoming president)?
I should have seen this coming. I have been riding a nice little emotional high lately. Lots of visitors. Lots of family. Lots of love. And now i'm spent. Grasping at straws for what may be left of my sanity and energy.
Before you ask – no he's not weaned. And yes he wakes up all the time. All the time. I think he's getting his 2 year molars. I think i am going to go crazy.
And now that summer's coming to an end, i'm sad. I don't want it to end. I don't want to face having to get the big two out the door early every morning. And making lunches for the fussiest fuss-asses in the world. And the endless driving.
And it's raining. And cold.
Blech.

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We have had such a wonderful week. My sister and her kids came and stayed at a condo on the lake that to me was almost identical to maui. It has been great.
We capped the week at the Fall Fair which you can see at flickr. It was a great time. All the kids decorated their bikes for the parade, such as it was, and all one great ribbons. Tristan worked very hard on a poster earlier in the summer and won the poster competition against a bunch of 15 year olds. We were very proud.
It's been great. Back to business tomorrow.

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Tonight i have five children. My lovely little niece Bryn is spending the night. I just went up to tuck them all in and I overheard Eliza and Toby explaining to Bryn how to make friends.
Eliza – "you just walk up to someone and you tell them you want to be friends"
Toby – "when you start kindergarten you'll have too many friends"
Bryn – "But kids don't like me"
That's the sound of my heart breaking. Kids are so sweet and there is something so special about cousins. I never had that as a child and i love watching my nieces and kids interacting and creating these bonds this week.
Bryn was born with severely clubbed feet. She had casts for the first year of her life, followed by four years of physical therapy and four surgeries. She still seems a little uncoordinated, but to look at her you'd never know all the trauma she's been through.
It's amazing to me the things these kids can go through and thrive.
I love them.

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