100 things

1. I have four kids
2. I have two boys – Parker and Toby
3. I have two girls – Tristan and Eliza
4. I have been married ten years.
5. Instead of a wedding we got a car.
6. I have 11 chickens and four (and counting) chicks.
7. I have two dogs – Lucy and Doodle.
8. One year ago we gave up living in the city to live on an acreage in the country.
9. I am trying to lose 15 pounds.
10. I have curly hair and hate it.
11. I recently had my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever.
12. The last book I read was "Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone" (to my daughter)
13. I am very tired.
14. I haven't slept through the night in 9 years.
15. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome
16. Heavy D. once asked me to marry him.
17. I have sold shoes to Steven Tyler, Sheryl Crow, Sarah Maclachlan, David Duchovny, Paula Abdul, all of Everclear, Winona Ryder and her then rockstar boyfriend, Heavy D. and Madonna.
18. It wasn't very exciting to sell those shoes.
19. Paula Abdul spent $13,000 on shoes for herself and her dancers.
20. I have an undergraduate degree in English and Womens Studies.
21. I had a nervous breakdown when I graduated from college.
22. I loved Kurt Cobain and his suicide was part of my nervous breakdown.
23. I probably drink too much.
24. I can do front and back flips on the trampoline.
25. I was in diving for 10 years.
26. I love to cook.
27. I hate to clean.
28. I hate laundry more than anything.
29. I live in fear of ticks and other skin bugs.
30. I'm really scared of heights.
31. I have terrible grammar, yet an English Honors graduate.
32. I got through University on charm and weirdness.
33. I am painfully shy and often anti-social.
34. I firmly believe that nobody really knows me.
35. I love Green Tea Ice Cream, but never eat it.
36. I suspect that i am lactose intolerant.
37. My sister has M.S. and I constantly worry that i'll get it too.
38. I worry that I'm going to hell for thinking that way.
39. I think I surround myself with children and animals because i am lacking something.
40. Really all this life just makes me feel good.
41. A friends child once ran out of my room holding not one, but two vibrators a la Parenthood.
42. It's good to have friends that don't tease about these things.
43. It's hard to think of 100 things about me.
44. I can't stand it when it's too hot out.
45. I sometimes will smoke.
46. I love my iPod
47. I love my iBook
48. I once had a book of poetry and photography published.
49. I live in fear that someone i know will actually see that book.
50. I loved the movie Betty Blue
51. Others I loved were American Beauty, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Sideways, Lost in Translation and many more…
52. I have read so many books I can't even begin.
53. My new favorite band is the Arcade Fire
54. I wish it was easier to be a mom
55. I probably yell at my kids too much.
56. Sometimes I wish, just for a moment, that i took another path in life.
57. I think that plastic surgery is wrong, but would totally get some if it were free.
58. My Brother-in-Law is a plastic surgeon.
59. Ditto for botox.
60. I don't think i can make it to 100.
61. Getting this far has taken a week.
62. Am i really this boring?
63. I have had more relationships than i would have liked.
64. I think i may probably go to hell for that too.
65. I really love my kids.
66. I see my light in their eyes.
67. My oldest daughter is going to be really beautiful.
68. It's a good thing she practices poor personal hygiene so at to keep the boys away.
69. I would give anything to hear my oldest son have perfect speech.
70. I hope i never have to spend time on the pediatric ward of the hospital again.
71. I wish i could have another baby.
72. I secretly hope that my tubes magically untie.
73. My sex drive is not what it used to be.
74. I am still breastfeeding.
75. I have been nursing steadily since 1997.
76. I fear I won't even recognize those friends once weaning happens.
77. Did I mention my brother in law is a plastic surgeon.
78. At what age do i stop worrying about those things.
79. I like to manipulate people for fun.
80. That's not very nice, I really only do it when its harmless and beneficial (to me).
81. I have never been to church in my life.
82. Except for funerals
83. When we first moved to the country and I was desperately lonely I thought about going.
84. I didn't.
85. I think that i should probably take my kids.
86. But, I won't.
87. It's hard for me not to be lazy.
88. When the weather changes frequently it makes me depressed.
89. I haven't taken any medicine since 1996, except for some painkillers after birth.
90. I miss neo citran.
91. I like watching Survivor, Six Feet Under, the Sopranos, Entourage and Rescue Me.
92. Also, a little bit, Newlyweds, Rob and Amber Get Married, the Osbournes and Ashley Simpson.
93. Don't tell ANYBODY i said that.
94. Holy shit, almost 100.
95. I live in constant fear of my children dying.
96. Except, i try not to think about it.
97. Except, when i can't sleep.
98. I suspect that my miniature schnauzer is eating the chicken food and that is why she is so fat.
99. My hens killed their babies and then ate them.
100. That was a very bad day for me.